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        <title>Tablets Are A Stupid Idea</title>
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            <h1>Tablets are a Stupid Idea</h1>

            <p class="paragraph">The tablet was introduced to the world by Steve Jobs at a convention on January 27, 2010. The fanboy-filled crowd, naturally, went crazy for it. Now, I certainly didn't watch this event. I don't even remember when I heard about iPads or tablets for the first time. It was probably not for several months after this. However, I do remember very well my reaction to it. Fucking stupid. I immediately thought to myself that this was possibly one of the dumbest things that had ever been created. Nobody would want to buy and use that useless thing. I was honestly convinced that this thing would never take off and was waiting to laugh at Apple for having introduced such a moronic product.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">Boy was I wrong. To be clear, I wasn't wrong about the iPad being a stupid fucking product, it most certainly was and still is. However, it did take off and people loved it. The only explanation for this is the cult-like following that Apple has. Apple fanboys will buy literally anything that is created by that company, whether it is useful or not. The level of devotion that many people have to Apple is frightening. The iPad is probably one of the best examples of this. I truly believe that they created the iPad as an experiment to show that their consumers will buy any piece of garbage that they shit out. They were right. There is no purpose to the iPad, and the tablet in general. </p>

            <p class="paragraph">Think about it, how often do you see someone carrying around any other tablet? It's a fairly rare occurrence right? This is because only Apple fans would be tricked into buying something that serves utterly no purpose. Users of other computer products understand that their computer products are tools, meant to serve a purpose. Therefore they almost never purchase them. Apple-boys however, treat the company as a cult, and Stevey as their messiah. Purchasing Apple products is a status symbol and a way of life for them. This is why tablets took off and are so popular, that's it.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">First, let's talk about what tablets are. When Steve Jobs introduced the iPad in 2010, he described them as the middle-ground between a smartphone and a laptop. This is a very accurate description and is exactly what they are, they are just not a good middle-ground. Let's take another example, cars and bikes. Say you like riding bikes, and you like driving cars, so you want to try something in the middle. So, you remove the engine from the car and put pedals in its place so that you can power it, brilliant. Or, if you really like giving your house a deep clean, so you decide to combine your two favorite cleaning products, ammonia and bleach. Tablets are a hybrid abomination of the smartphone and laptop that nobody wanted. They have all of the downsides of both mixed in to one.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">So, what do tablets get from computers? Mainly, the lack of convenience. Yes, computers are somewhat convenient to carry around and get some work done just about anywhere. However, my laptop does not fit in my pocket. When I get into an argument with somebody and want to prove them wrong, I don't reach into my back pocket to pull out my laptop, get on the internet and find some information. I use my smartphone. It's pretty convenient. In a similar manner, I am not reaching into my pocket for my tablet to look up some obscure internet lore. I have to have a bag for it to carry it around, or hold it in my hand and hope I don't drop it. Tablets are simply not convenient.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">Next, lets talk about typing. This is a trait that tablets get from smartphones. Utterly terrible typing experience. The touchscreen is good for typing only short messages, such as texts, or searching something in the browser. You can't type anything meaningful, like a rant about why you hate tablets. If I were to write this on a tablet, it would take me about a month. Of course, you can always buy a keyboard for your tablet to get some meaningful work done, but if you do that, then you just have a less convenient laptop. Now, you have to pull out the tablet, and pull out the keyboard/stand. Connect the keyboard, set up the stand and everything. I can set my laptop down and just open it, the keyboard is automatically connected and I don't have to gently prop up the screen. If you are going to do that, then just get a laptop.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">Another thing to discuss is the power and resources of the tablet. This is also another terrible quality that they get from smartphones. The processors are equivalent to a phone and therefore are weak and under-performing compared to computers. Also, far less storage and RAM in general. Everything about tablets is inferior to laptops in this field. I understand that laptops and tablets both come in many different levels and with different components, however, you will always pay way more for tablet compared to its similar laptop counterpart. The price/value ratio is obnoxious.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">Obviously, the tablet has taken all of the worst attributes from phones and laptops and brought them together into a terrible product.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">Now I want to take a look at Steve Jobs own arguments for the iPad. On January 27, 2010 when he introduced the iPad, he gave a list of things that the tablet would do better than both the smartphone and the laptop. Let's take a look at these things shall we?</p>

            <p class="paragraph">Browsing. I assume he means web browsing here. Nope, dog shit. Laptop/desktop computers are the ultimate experience for this. Mouse/keyboard, large screen real estate etc. The phone is uncomfortable for web browsing, but I can keep it in my pocket, so I will forgive it. The tablet has the interface of the phone, touchscreen typing and all, but a size that makes it ludicrous. It is super uncomfortable and straining to hold it in one hand to type/swipe on the screen of such a large device. My phone is comfortably held in one hand, freeing up the other hand to interact with it. Browsing, again, is the worst of both worlds on the tablet.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">Email. Nope, dog shit. If I am typing a long email or trying to send somebody something over email, I want a keyboard. If I want to send a short message, then why am I using email, that is what texting is for. Even if you are texting, it is much more convenient on the phone due to its easy-to-hold nature. Emailing is best done on a traditional computer, mostly due to the keyboard, but also easy copy/pasting and other conveniences. However, I would rather use a phone than a tablet to send an email because it is easier to hold in one hand while typing with the other. If you send lots of email, the last thing that you want to use is a tablet.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">Photos. I'll give this one partial points. You can hold it up to take pictures and get a better view of the picture on the larger screen, but good luck pressing the button to take the photo without shaking the tablet and messing up the picture. However, when I see people holding up a massive tablet to take pictures, it cracks me up, it is just hilariously cartoonish. It's like clowns who where huge shoes, they're funny because they are so stupidly large and they look ridiculous and out of place. That is what you look like taking pictures with a tablet, a fucking clown. I will always laugh at you and will mock and try to make you feel bad, because you should feel bad. It's still better/easier to just use a smartphone. As for viewing photos, OK, it is a bit better than phones, but not nearly as good as a nice laptop. Editing photos, forget it.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">Video. Nope, dog shit. Taking video with a tablet is a terrible experience. Phones aren't great for this, but their smaller size makes them OK. The larger size of the tablet makes it hard to hold steady and extremely usntable. Forget using one hand to hold it, your hand will be shaking like you're Michael J. Fox. And you are going to get tired real fast. Watching videos, again, takes the worst of both worlds. I can pull my phone out of my pocket to watch some short videos anywhere I want. Ya, the screen is small, but it works in a pinch. Want to watch a movie? You either have to lay it flat on a surface so that you are watching at an angle, or you need a stand, which means you are just using a laptop.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">Music. No advantage. In this category, tablets are the same as smartphones and laptops. If you want to listen to music you are going to be working with the shitty built-in speaker. These speakers are garbage on all of the devices. Therefore, if you want louder music or better quality, you have to get an external speaker. There is no advantage here except an uncomfortable device form. My smartphone connects to a Bluetooth speaker just like your tablet. The difference is that I always have that smartphone in my pocket.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">Games. Are you fucking kidding me!? This is so goddamn stupid that I find it difficult to believe that he actually claimed this. Tablets are the worst possible thing for games. If you want to really play some serious, immersive games, you have to have a laptop/desktop computer (or a console). You simply will never get a decent gaming experience on a smartphone or tablet. However, smartphones do have their uses for playing games. If you like to play casual games or play a game when you are waiting in line for 8 hours at the DMV, smartphones are pretty cool for that. Again, it's in your pocket. As long as the game is designed to be played with one hand, it can be a decent casual gaming experience. How the fuck do you play any game on a tablet? It is the worst thing that I can imagine. You have to hold it from the side with one hand, straining against gravity to keep it steady while the metal and glass warps. Touch the screen to interact with it and you push the whole screen downward because you are holding it from one spot on the edge of the screen. The tablet is literally the worst conceivable form of computer to ever play a game with, I couldn't design something worse if I tried. As usual, you could put it up on a stand with a mouse and keyboard, but then you have just turned it into a shitty laptop.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">eBooks. Nope, dog shit. Again, this is about holding it. Tablets are just the most inconvenient thing in the world to hold and interact with at the same time. Even phones are better for reading on. Granted, phones have a small screen and it isn't the best experience, but it is more convenient and not a workout just to hold the fucking thing. I have my phone everywhere, so it is always there and available to read when I get stuck in that 8 hour line at the DMV. Laptops are OK for reading books and other things, but their lack of pocketability makes them non-ideal. But the large screen and the ease of using buttons to scroll/change page does make them quite nice. Ultimately, real books are the way to go here. But if you do want something to take with you everywhere, all the time, use a smartphone.</p>

            <p class="paragraph">So, as we can see, Steve Jobs was either one of the dumbest people in tech at the time, or, more likely, a genius scam artist who knew that his worshipers would eat up anything that he created, because they were and are blind cult members. I think the tablet was just a joke to prove that they could sell anything if they just put an Apple logo on it. Props to you Stevey for so effectively manipulating people, you were a master at it. Tablets are one of the worst forms of computer that has ever been created. The dawn of the tablet was truly a dark day in the history of humanity.</p>
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